"Beef or fish?" is the classic question, and it is usually the wrong one. The real decision comes earlier: whether to offer a choice at all. That one has consequences for the budget, for the logistics and for how much work the month before the wedding turns into.
Single menu or a choice: what actually changes
Single menu
You pick one main course and everyone eats the same. It has become much more common, and not out of stinginess: service is simpler, the chef can perfect one dish instead of defending two, and there are no coloured cards on the tables telling the waiters who ordered what.
It works if the dish is broadly liked. A good cut of beef or a mild white fish offends almost nobody.
A choice
Guests choose between two mains. People appreciate it, especially anyone who does not eat red meat or does not like fish.
The cost: you usually pay for it, because the caterer has to buy more to cover the uncertainty. And it adds a whole layer of admin — collecting the choices, reconciling them, passing them to the venue and marking them on the seating chart.
Tasting menu
The third way, increasingly common: instead of choosing, everyone tries several dishes in small portions. It solves the choice problem without creating two lines in the kitchen. If your venue offers it, it is often the most elegant answer to the whole dilemma.
The two-choice rule
If you offer a choice, make it two. Not three.
With three options the caterer needs three production lines, service in the room becomes fragile and the chance of someone receiving the wrong plate goes up sharply. Quite a few caterers simply will not do it. Two options cover almost every real preference; a third rarely pays for itself.
What is not optional
This is the most frequent confusion, and the one that causes problems on the day.
Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free and dairy-free meals, and allergies, are not options you offer. They are needs you have to cover, whether you offer a choice or serve a single menu.
Ask about them every time, on the same form, with an open text box as well as the fixed options: there are intolerances that fit no category, and guests will tell you if you leave them room. The wording to use is in how to ask about dietary restrictions on your RSVP, and what to do with the answers in the guide to food allergies on wedding RSVPs.
And count children separately: most venues have a children's menu with its own price and its own headcount.
Why there are no prices here
Per-head catering prices depend on the country, the region, the format and the venue far more than on beef versus fish. The figures that circulate online mostly come from caterers and wedding platforms, which have an obvious interest in how they are presented. We have no number of our own we could defend, so we would rather not give one. The only figure that counts is the closed quote from your own venue — and ask them directly how much a choice of mains adds.
Deadlines, which is where it gets complicated
The caterer will ask for the final meal numbers before the wedding, often one to two weeks before. Every venue has its own deadline: ask when you sign, not the month before.
Everything else works backwards from there:
- RSVP deadline for guests: a few weeks before the caterer's date. You need a cushion for the late repliers.
- Reminder: about ten days after the invitations go out.
- Calls to the ones still missing: the week after your RSVP deadline.
Decide what happens with the ones who do not reply
There is always a share of guests who do not pick a meal. The fix is to decide for them in advance and say so on the form itself:
"If you have not chosen by [date], we will put you down for the beef."
Silence stops being a problem and nobody can complain afterwards. One line of text that saves you ten phone calls.
Collecting the choices without losing your mind
Once you have decided the format, what is left is mechanical: collect who wants what, reconcile it and hand it to the venue. That part is in online wedding menu selection, including which fields work and what to give the caterer.
Or you can use a wedding website with the meal choice and allergies on the RSVP form, which is what we do for €49, paid once.
Frequently asked questions
Do you have to offer a choice of meal at a wedding?
No, and fewer weddings do. A single well-chosen main course works, usually costs less and makes service simpler. Offering a choice is appreciated, but it has a real cost in money and in admin that is worth knowing before you decide.
How many meal options should a wedding offer?
Two at most for the main course. From three upwards the caterer needs separate production lines, the kitchen gets complicated and the chance of a wrong plate reaching a guest goes up. Many caterers will not take it on.
Do vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free meals count as options?
No, and this is the most common confusion. They are not alternatives you offer: they are needs you have to cover, like allergies. They sit outside the beef-or-fish choice and you ask about them every time, even with a single menu.
When does the caterer need the final meal numbers?
Each venue sets its own deadline, often one to two weeks before the wedding. Ask when you sign the contract, then work backwards from that date to set the RSVP deadline for your guests.
What do I do about guests who do not pick a meal?
Decide a default in advance and say so on the RSVP itself: "if you have not chosen by the date, we will put you down for the beef". Silence stops being a problem and nobody can complain afterwards.
Is a tasting menu a good alternative to a choice?
Often, yes. Everyone tries several dishes in smaller portions, so nobody has to choose and the kitchen does not have to run two mains. Ask whether your venue offers it.
Article by the Wedding30s team. It deliberately gives no prices: ask your own venue for a closed quote.